The Christmas season has been a time of reflection for me this year. I am looking at my life and analyzing every aspect of it and every quality of the person that I am striving to be. Along with this, I have been thinking of the season and what it should represent. Not presents. Not money. Not black Friday. And not so many other things that it has become. Call me cheesy, but I am longing for a Christmas filled with family, hope and Christmas miracles. I was talking to my best friend last week and told her, "I want to see a Christmas miracle. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I want a greater purpose for my life". This has been weighing on my heart so heavily, and so I headed off to church on Sunday confident that I would be able to get some answers there. During the sermon, I sat there listening to my Pastor talk about God's timing and listened to him preach from Luke 2:25 - The Prophecy of Simeon. During this sermon, I continued to think of what God wants me to do in my life. I know that I want to help people, and I know that I have a desire to serve others and make some sort of difference in someone's life. But I am just not sure how to get there or what to even do when I do get there. I do believe God has sent me to school and that I am studying what I am for a reason although I am clueless why. But then I start questioning if I am truly right about that. What if I am supposed to be somewhere else. Then, I question why if I am so ready to do something great with my life, why is God not leading me there right now and I have to admit it gets me a little frustrated and impatient.
The sermon did make me feel better (it always does) but it just wasn't enough to put me at ease. I also ran in to Rachel Rizzuti, a young lady in the church that I look up to so much. She is amazing and every time I listen to her talk, I am inspired. She and I talked briefly about where she was in her life and changes she is making. After she left, I wondered why I couldn't have the passion that she has and the understanding for direction in life that she has. As I sat there at the end of the sermon, I made my promise to God that I would go home that night and before my head hit the pillow, I would dig in to my Bible and look at God's word to find my answer. And that is just what I did. I want to share the verses that I found...
Nu 9:23 - Israelites traveled and camped as God commanded them and they obeyed Him. In this verse, I realized that sometimes God does want me to move but sometimes I need to be where I am. Instead of asking what to do next, I should ask what to do while I am where I am. It isn't just about the move, there is a purpose for me where I am. Maybe I am missing what I should be doing because I am rushing and not seeing what is right in front of my face.
Dt 1:1-2 - Israelites spent 40 years on a journey that should have only been 11 days. It was the condition of their hearts that caused the delay. The purpose is deeper than transporting. God prepares us to live in obedience when we do get to our destination. The journey there can be painful and tiring but it is necessary in order to prepare. That journey is a learning process of who I am and who God is. One of my favorite quotes is...Be patient, God isn't finished with me yet. Ahhh, an aha moment :)
Jn 1:3 - "Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made" - Through Him I was made. The gifts and talents that we are given are from God. Without God, we are nothing. Living without Him takes away from our purpose. If we follow Him, He will lead us on His time!!!
Ru 2:20 - Story of Naomi and Ruth. Naomi was bitter but her faith in God was still alive, and she praised God for Boaz's kindness to Ruth. Ruth "just happened" to end up in the field owned by Boaz who "just happened" to be a close relative. This verse teaches us that events do not occur by luck or coincidence. God is directing our lives for His purpose every step of the way. Ruth didn't always know God's direction but He led her where she should be just as every event in my life is led by Him. I can feel confident where I am. Sometimes, I feel that I am not in the right place because I am not a "strong enough" Christian. Well, no one is perfect. God called on many who were imperfect.
Est 4:13-14 - After decree to kill Jesus was given, Mordecai and Esther could have decided to only save themselves or just waited for God to intervene, but they realized they had been placed there for a purpose and seized that moment. We have to act in these moments because God may have placed us where we are for a time like this!!
I wanted to share this for a couple of reasons. 1. accountability. If you are on this blog, you are a close friend. Hold me accountable for what I say. I am not perfect and I do have weakness and I will again question things. Tell me to go back and read this!! 2. You may be in the same place as me 3. I love you and want to share my life and where I am in my life with you.
Hope you are all having a wonderful holiday. Merry Christmas.
